When Can I Wear An Ugly Christmas Sweater?
December 1st through December 31st. Before that it isn't funny yet, and after that it's just your sweater.
An ugly sweater has exactly one defense: everyone else is wearing one. Worn at a party in the second week of December, surrounded by your friends and someone's reindeer vest, it's a costume. Worn alone at a gas station in November, it's not a joke anymore. It's just what you're wearing.
Most ugly sweater parties happen in the first three weeks of December, so if you're hosting, send the invitation by the end of November. People need time to find something truly terrible, and the good ones go fast. If you want the real thing, check a thrift store before you pay full price for one that's been made ugly on purpose. Someone's grandmother meant that sweater, and you can tell.
Be careful with the ones that light up. Bring spare batteries, since those are your own responsibility, and keep the battery pack where you won't sit on it. Sweaters with bells will be heard before you're seen, which your office may have views on. Also, wear a thin shirt underneath. Those things are hot, and they're not washable in any way you'd recognize.
After New Year's Eve, the party's over. It's just a sweater now, and it's a bad one. Put it away. Its time will come.
The Ruling: Allowed from December 1 through December 31.
This ruling comes from a joke website. There is no court. The dates are our opinion, and the practical tips are ordinary common sense, so use your own judgment.