When Should I Start Christmas Shopping?
As early as you like from July 1st on. Shopping early is smart. Telling everyone you shopped early is the only part this Court prosecutes.
Buying a present on October 9th is foresight. Telling the group chat you're all done on October 9th is an act of aggression. The Court only rules on the second one.
There are real reasons to start early. You'll spread the cost over a few paychecks instead of finding out in January what you did. You'll have your pick before things sell out. And you can actually wait for a sale, rather than paying whatever it costs on December 22nd because you've run out of options and hope.
Keep a list of what you bought and where you hid it. Write it down. People who shop in August routinely find a gift the following March, in a closet, for someone they've since stopped speaking to. Hang on to receipts and check the return window, because a store's 30 days can run out long before anyone unwraps anything.
Shipping is the one deadline that's real. If you're ordering online, carriers start getting slow in mid-December, so check their cutoff dates and don't take a website's word for it.
The window closes December 24th. After that the stores are still open, but only for returns, and you'll be standing in a line with everyone you know, holding a sweater.
The Ruling: Allowed from July 1 through December 24.
This ruling comes from a joke website. There is no court. The dates are our opinion, and the practical tips are ordinary common sense, so use your own judgment.