Ten counts of contempt. The Court has run out of things to threaten you with, so it's letting you have this. All of this.
Yes.
Decorate from November 1st. Lights on from November 15th. Music the day after Thanksgiving. There's a whole calendar of rulings below.
If it's legal, its bulb is lit. Tap any row for the Court's reasoning, then drag the date and watch them all change their minds.
Allowed from November 1 through January 6.
The Court's Reasoning. The skeleton's lease runs out at midnight on Halloween. From November 1st on, the mantel is yours, and you've got eight weeks to get your money's worth out of those boxes. Decorating is quiet work. A garland has never followed anyone through a grocery store. Keep the lights off for two weeks and the radio off for longer.
Allowed from the day after Thanksgiving through January 1.
The Court's Reasoning. You can hang every ornament you own, because an ornament stays where you put it. Music doesn't. Once it starts, it's in the car, the store and the dentist's office for five straight weeks, and it needs to pace itself. The day after Thanksgiving, it's yours. Until then, decorate in silence, like a professional.
Allowed from December 1 through January 1.
The Court's Reasoning. A cut tree has about four good weeks in it. Buy one too early and by the 12th you're hosting a brown fire hazard with a star on it. The Court has seen the vacuum. The vacuum didn't recover.
Allowed all year.
The Court's Reasoning. The Court has reviewed the evidence: a big-city executive, a failing inn, and a man who has never been seen without flannel. That isn't Christmas. That's a genre. Watch it in June. The Court has.
Allowed from November 15 through December 31.
The Court's Reasoning. Exhibit A was found face-down on a lawn at 2 p.m., looking like a crime scene with a carrot. It has a plug, so it waits for the lights to come on. And a snowman needs plausible snow, or at least plausible cold. The Court won't accept a fan running next to a pumpkin.
Allowed from October 15 through January 15.
The Court's Reasoning. If anyone asks, it's fir and cedar, and you just like the woods. Nobody can prove what you meant by it. The Court's own chambers have smelled like a spruce since Labor Day and not one person has said a word.
Allowed from December 1 through December 24.
The Court's Reasoning. This is the only item on the docket that arrives with its own ruling printed on it. Door 1 means December 1st. The Court can't make this any easier. Yes, you can peel back door 9 and eat it today. The Court isn't angry. It's just going to remember.
Allowed from July 1 through December 24.
The Court's Reasoning. Buying a present on October 9th is foresight. Telling the group chat you're all done on October 9th is an act of aggression. The Court only rules on the second one.
Not allowed, on any date, in any year.
The Court's Reasoning. It's a whole holiday. It gets up at 5 a.m., it cooks for eleven, and it has never once tried to sell you anything. You're not stepping over it to get to a reindeer.
Allowed from October 1 through January 15.
The Court's Reasoning. A person on a ladder in a sweatshirt in October is a person who's done the math on December. The Court admires this. Installing isn't celebrating. Just don't plug anything in. See the next item.
Allowed from November 15 through January 6.
The Court's Reasoning. There's one exception: you may plug them in once, for four minutes, to find the dead strand. The Court's aware you'll find the dead strand and still be out there at 9.
Allowed from November 1 through January 6.
The Court's Reasoning. A fake tree can't die, so it can go up the minute Halloween's over. It needs time to fluff. You need time to find the third section, which is behind the other box.
Allowed from November 1 through January 6.
The Court's Reasoning. One nail, one circle, and the whole street knows you've started. It's the cheapest announcement in the decorating business, and since November 1st you've been allowed to make it.
Allowed from December 1 through December 23.
The Court's Reasoning. Music's allowed at home because your home is yours. The break room belongs to everyone, including whoever's been there since 7 a.m. and hasn't said a word. Headphones exist.
Allowed from December 1 through December 24.
The Court's Reasoning. Every night before December 1st is a night you volunteered for. Nobody in the history of parenting has said, "I wish we'd started the elf sooner."
Allowed from December 1 through December 31.
The Court's Reasoning. An ugly sweater has exactly one defense: everyone else is wearing one. Worn alone in November, it's not a joke anymore. It's just what you're wearing.
Allowed from December 1 through December 20.
The Court's Reasoning. A card mailed in November goes on a fridge, gets covered with a pizza coupon, and is gone by the time anyone would've thought of you. Timing is the whole point of a card. The letter inside can run as long as you want. Nobody's read that far.
Allowed from November 1 through January 6.
The Court's Reasoning. Peppermint's a flavor, not a holiday. It's legal the minute Halloween's over, mostly because the Court enjoys it and isn't going to rule against itself.
Allowed from December 1 through December 25.
The Court's Reasoning. A cookie has no season. A cookie with a reindeer's face and red sugar on it has declared one. You can bake all you want until December. Just keep it round.
Allowed from December 1 through December 25.
The Court's Reasoning. That photo's going to outlive all of you. The least you can do is take it in December, so your descendants can at least see why you did it.
Allowed from the day after Thanksgiving through December 24.
The Court's Reasoning. The man gets 11 months a year to be Gary from the tire place, and he's earned them. The beard's at the dry cleaner. Don't make him do this before the store has even put the fake snow down.
Allowed from October 1 through December 20.
The Court's Reasoning. Gathering intelligence isn't celebrating. It's reconnaissance. The Court only asks that you do it casually, over several weeks, the way a professional would.
Allowed from November 15 through December 24.
The Court's Reasoning. Wrap too early and you'll spend December 23rd finding a present from November in the linen closet, under a present from last year. The Court has seen the linen closet.
Allowed from December 26 through January 31.
The Court's Reasoning. This is the only ruling on the docket that runs the other way. The 26th is legal. The Court won't stop you, and it won't ask what you felt when the living room looked big again.
One word in bulbs, or the whole question on a sign, so you can stop having this conversation. Shirts, hoodies, mugs, a tote and a sticker, printed when you order.
Shirts from $19. Stickers from $8.
See The ShopThe Court doesn't care what you think, but it's required to count it.
Is it too early for Christmas?
Any question about Christmas timing. The Court has heard enough about your homeowners association.
You:
The Court:
Six questions. You're under oath. The oath is also a joke.
Print an official Notice Of Premature Yuletide Activity and tape it to their door. Or don't. You still have to live there.
November 1st. The skeleton's lease is up at midnight on Halloween, and the mantel is yours. Outdoor lights wait until November 15th, and music waits until the day after Thanksgiving.
The day after Thanksgiving, and not one song sooner. That goes for the car, too. Shared offices wait until December 1st.
December 1st. A cut tree lasts about four or five weeks, so the math isn't hard. Fake trees get a head start on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, on the grounds that they were never alive. Read the full ruling.
You can install them any time from October 1st. Installing is just planning. Turn them on from November 15th through January 6th.
You may start December 26th, and the Twelve Days run out January 6th. After that, the Court will assume something has happened to you and send someone to check. Read the full ruling.
No. There's no court, no judge and no bailiff. This is a joke website. Your neighbor can do whatever they want, and so can you. More about this site.